Struggles Of Living With A Partner With Borderline Personality Disorder
A long-term relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder isn’t easy but it’s isn’t impossible either.
While borderline personality disorders aren’t leading mental health concerns in the US, it is estimated that about 1.4 percent of the total US population could have BPD. Many of these are women, but some experts believe that men are equally affected by the disorder but are just misdiagnosed.
Research also shows that more than one-third of individuals with BPD are in long-term relation hips. However, people with personality disorders often share rocky relationships. Needless to say, the challenges are pretty intense and rather unique where romantic relationships and borderline personality disorders are concerned.
What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?
A borderline personality disorder is a condition in which a person processes and reacts to emotions and situations differently.
The disorder can be caused due to several factors, including abuse and trauma. And certain risk factors increase the likelihood of someone being diagnosed with BPD.
These risk factors include any kind of abuse and mistreatment, including sexual and emotional abuse. Moreover, neglect from a parent could also increase the risk. And research shows that genetics may have a role to play as well.
In general, people with BPD tend to be impulsive and take a lot of time to neutralize their emotions after experiencing something particularly positive or negative.
What Do BPD Symptoms Look Like and How Would They Affect Your Relationship?
People with borderline personality disorders display some very obvious signs, including an extreme fear of rejection or abandonment, and they may also have a stream of unstable, short-lived relationships.
Other symptoms include constantly shifting self-image, episodes of stress-induced paranoia, impulsive habits/behavior, suicidal tendencies and self-harm, major mood swings, feelings of emptiness for long periods, and intense anger and aggression (often misplaced).
Given these symptoms, it’s very easy to see how they can affect a relationship between two partners. A person with BPD can be a lot to put up with, but they’re also usually the most compassionate people and are very affectionate toward their partner.
But given their condition, it does take extra effort to keep the relationship from collapsing completely after every emotional episode. However, a long-term relationship with a person with BPD isn’t impossible and can actually be great too.
How Can You Help Your Partner with Their Borderline Personality Disorder?
If your partner has a borderline personality disorder, there’s a lot you’d have to do to keep your relationship afloat. And the fact that you’re reading this blog tells us that you care enough to put in the effort.
For starters, we recommend that you read up about borderline personality disorder and understand why your partner reacts the way they do. It will help if you try to assess every situation by putting yourself in their shoes and keeping in mind the way BPD can make one react.
Also, we suggest you try convincing them to get help if they aren’t diagnosed already, but you can see the symptoms. And also, check with their doctor to see if there is any medication to help their symptoms.
Lastly, just try to be there for them emotionally and make sure they know that you’re not going away. Your emotional support for your partner with BPD means more than you realize.
If you want to learn more about the challenges of living with a partner with BPD, we suggest you read A Notebook of Love by Luis Trivino. This inspiring book navigates a couple’s relationship, both of whom are diagnosed with different disorders, including borderline personality disorder.
The book can really help you put things in perspective — give it a read!